yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
