His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
