I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
