I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
