At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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