I'm gonna have a badass scar
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So vagazzling was a success
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
