there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
