Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
