I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
