turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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