Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
