I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
