Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
