I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
