wrigley field is MILF paradise
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
