do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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