Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
