bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
