he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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