I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
