somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
