Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
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Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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