Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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