after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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