Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
