I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
