How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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