So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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