She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
