Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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