Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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