did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
