May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dignity is for republicans.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
