And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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