i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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