if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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