sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
