dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
