very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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