i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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