We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
