4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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