11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
