I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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