the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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