Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
