Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Green mimosas i think yes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
