If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
