I just pynch a tree in the face
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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