He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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