Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
