her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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