Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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