I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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