I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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