Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
